Why am i doing this to myself

Why Am I Doing This To Myself ? I Ask This Question
Over And Over Again,The Answers Keep Coming Back The Same …
There Is Nothing For Me To Gain”

He Is Still In My Heart And I Havn’t Let Go
“I Came To Love You Through Conversation
And So You Captured My Heart
And It Didn’t Stop No Matter How Very Far Apart
Sometimes I Say To God In The Quiet
Of My Secret Pain
I Want Him Still,In My Life…Isn’t That Just
Insane ?
Some Of Us Love Outwardly,Others Of Us Inwardly
So Hard To Stop …After All My Heart Is Not A
Mere Clock Turned On And Off
Going Tick Tock ~ Tick Tock
Although ,Sometimes I Wish ,I Can Turn Back The Hands Of Time
A Time When It Seemed…I Was His And He Was Truly Mine
Now I Must Forge Ahead
And Remember…The Past Is Dead !
The Only Thing To Happen,If God Sees Fit For It To
Is To Help Me Wait For Something Brand New
It Was Too Easy,To Think He Could Love So Deeply From Afar
Now All I Want …Is For It To Disappear
What Has Been Left In My Heart….
A Huge Scar
Yes I Will Love Him Until It Heals
Then One Day When I Least Expect It To This Now Wounded Heart Will Be Sealed.